The Importance of Bedtime Routines
Ahhh bedtime. Depending on how it goes, it could be your favorite or least favorite time of day. It could mean freedom from your children to binge Netflix. Or it could mean waiting by your child's bed for the next 2 hours. Hopefully with no screaming included!
Establishing a great bedtime routine from the start is essential. And when I say from the start, I even mean from day 1 of coming home from the hospital! Although the routine will change as your child gets older, the basic structure of it will never change.
Why are bedtime routines important?
This routine signals to the child that bedtime is coming and sleep is going to be expected soon. It helps them "unwind" from the day and start to relax and settle down. Think of your own bedtime routine, what do you do? Maybe check all the doors to your house are closed and locked? Maybe you read a book in bed? A child needs this same opportunity to wind down from up and playing to now sleeping. Children crave structure and routine, so it is important that night after night it is the same. This doesn't vary no matter which parent is completing it! If you have a toddler, I'm sure you've heard "That's not the way mommy does it", or "daddy always reads this book first". That is them telling you they know and appreciate the bedtime routine!
How Long Should the Routine Be?
Bedtime routines are NOT meant to drag on forever! Again if you have a toddler, you may have fallen into the "one more book" trap. Or even worse is the "I have to go potty" or "I need some water" game in their attempt to delay bedtime. At max, a routine should take a half hour! If the routine gets any longer than a child will become confused. They will wonder whats going on and how much they can push you. While completing this routine, most (if not all) if it should be happening in the child's room. This is another cue that bedtime is coming and it is a relaxing, comfortable place to be. At no point in a child's routine should a tv, ipad, computer, or screen of any kind be used!
Since bedtime routines are relaxing and sending the message that sleep in near, you want them to be enjoyable for both parent and child. If there is a portion of the routine that both child and parent are dreading, then feel free to ditch it and do something else. Early bedtimes are best, but if a parent works full time and isn't able to see the child much during the day, bedtime is a great time to bond! Having both parents involved in bedtime routines is also important as you want your child to know both parents can put me to bed in case one ever just needs a break or is not home for bedtime.
Sample Bedtime Routine
The following bedtime routine can be used for newborns up to older children! Start your routine about a half hour prior to what time you want them into their crib/bed. So if their bedtime is 7pm, start the routine at 6:30.
Bath Time ** This may not happen every night, but if it does, start with this
Put on diaper, PJ's (and sleep sack if age appropriate.)
Bottle or breastfeed ** This is moved earlier in the routine to ensure that baby is not falling asleep while feeding. If baby starts to become drowsy and closing their eyes, do what you need to in order to keep them awake!
Story/songs/ cuddles
Put child into bed wide awake. For children under 3 months, they can be put in "drowsy but awake", but children older than that should be put in wide awake!
If you followed this guide and are still having some trouble getting your child to sleep independently after placed into their bed, I'd love to help! Shoot an email over to jensine@babyoandiconsulting.com and I'll get you set up with a free 15 minute call to discuss your specific situation!