7 Tips For Parents Of Picky Eaters

I know this isn’t a sleep-related issue, but I've had many parents ask me about this topic, so I thought it
might be nice to address it. The Picky Eater...

So if you have a toddler in the house, you know exactly how this goes. You make a nice, healthy breakfast, they sit down in front of it and make a face, tell you they’re not hungry, (or at least not hungry for the food you’ve prepared for them,) then some gentle encouragement on your side meets more refusal on theirs, both of you start to get a little frustrated, one of you ends up in tears, and eventually you break down and offer them whatever they’re willing to
eat, since it’s better than them not eating at all.

Or maybe you stick to your guns and refuse to offer up their preferred breakfast food in the hopes that they’ll get hungry enough to eventually give in. Twenty minutes later, they’re begging for a glass of milk and some Goldfish crackers, and the battle continues until your toddler’s melting down and you’re at the end of your rope.

"Do I Have A Picky Eater?"

Our picky eater story goes a little like this: Baby O sits down and looks at his plate. I always include one food that I know he will eat, then the rest is whatever I have made for dinner. The rule is that he must take a tiny "no thank you" bite of each of the other things, which is usually met with a "no, yuck". But eventually he does take the tiny bite, and sometimes it turns into him finishing that food, and sometimes he stops there. If he refuses the rest of the meal then he can get up and be done, but if he asks for snacks later, he is presented with the plate he didn’t finish earlier.

Our situation I know could be WAY worse, but it's certainly frustrating when he's "no yuck"ing food he loved yesterday!

This is such a tricky situation because is there a good option? You don’t want your child to go hungry, but you also don’t want to keep giving in and letting them eat junk. I know bread with peanut butter isn’t exactly unhealthy (easily Baby O's favorite), but it doesn’t offer everything he needs for his diet either. Not by a long shot. Going from a child that would eat ANYTHING (and I mean anything) to a kid that is very selective is hard. As a mom, we feel it is our responsibility to ensure they are getting a great variety of foods to cover all their needs.

This is one of those parenting problems that sounds amusing if you don’t have kids, but it’s actually a serious issue. Too much pressure on a toddler to eat can actually set up a resentment towards mealtimes and a bad relationship with food in general that can last for years. The last thing I would want is to set up unhealthy habits so early on! So what’s the solution here? Well, I’m neither a nutritionist or a child psychologist, but I can tell you what’s worked for me and a whole lot of the families I’ve worked with. Let's get started on our 7 Tips for Parents of Picky Eaters so that you can make mealtime a place for memories instead of stress.

1. Know Your Role As A Picky Eater Parent

As parents, we tend to see ourselves as the authority figure in the family. However, you cannot force a child to eat! This will make a picky eater buckle down even more. So in the end, they’re the ones with the power here. Your role as the parent isn’t to decide how much of what food your child will eat. You are in charge of purchasing food, preparing meals, and scheduling times for them to eat. What they eat and how much of it is something you should leave up to your child. As long as you are providing them with healthy choices and a variety of foods (at least on thing you know they will like), the rest is up to them.

2. Schedule Meal and Snack Times

Toddlers are in that strange growth phase where they have ridiculous amounts of energy, but their bellies are still too small to hold enough food to keep them feeling full for long. So I like to offer a meal or a snack every two hours. Our schedule looks like this:

7:30am breakfast

10am snack

12pm lunch

3:30pm snack

5:30pm dinner

This isn’t a rigid schedule. I look at the length of time between meals than the time of day. For example: While house hunting and selling we have had to be away from home during what should be a lunch or snack time. If I know lunch will be delayed, I offer a filling snack that would have been part of their lunch to tide them over until we can get home and eat. Where I am  fairly diligent though, is in not offering snacks in between those two hours. Especially not those "filler" snacks like Goldfish crackers or Cheerios. If your kids know they need to wait until after breakfast get their favorite treats, they’ll do it. It is amazing how strong the will of a toddler can be!

At times Baby O may ask to be all done before finishing his breakfast, but then ask for a snack a half hour later. I also save what he didn't finish of his breakfast to then offer it again, which he eats at that time. No filler snacks and he isn't hungry asking for food over and over until snacktime! Win-win!

3. Offer Choices

For each meal and snack, I typically offer no less than three choices. It may sound like a lot, especially for a picky eater who may not eat it, but there is a reason behind it. I’m not suggesting you cook three separate meals every two hours. That would be nuts, and I couldn't ask you to do something I would never do myself! These choices can be super simple, just as long as they’re reasonably healthy and have some variety to them. At breakfast, we have homemade banana bread, smoothie and a fruit.

Let your little one know what the options are and they can eat the amount they want. Same thing goes for lunch and dinner. I typically make a meat, starch and a veggie, but also offer the boys a fruit. At least one of those things I know that Baby O (my picky one!) will eat, and encourage him to try the other things on his plate.

4. Let Your Child Take it From There

Now that you’ve set up a schedule and provided your little one with some options, the rest is up to them. If they decide to eat all of their pasta and none of the veggies, thats ok! If they eat all of the salad and only one bite of anything else, thats ok too! No matter what they eat and don't eat, it will be ok. Giving a picky eater control over what they eat is going to take a huge amount of stress off of everyone at the table, and it creates a much more positive association with mealtimes and food in general. They will be eating meals literally forever, and you want it to be an enjoyable time of the day, not a time to dread.

5. Be Repetitive

Toddlers often make judgments on foods before they’ve even put them near their mouths. If I had a dollar for every time I've heard "no yuck" before he has even seen the food then I would be a millionaire!  Toddlers rarely take to a new food until they’ve gotten familiar with it, first through their eyes, then through smell. This is especially true of a picky eater. It’s not until they’ve developed a level of comfort with it being in front of them that they may taste it. So don’t give up on anything until you’ve presented it at the table at least five times or so.

Even if your toddler seems repulsed by it at first, it may just take a little acclimating until they’re willing to try it. Keep those foods in your rotation to keep presenting it, but be ok if they don't taste it. We often promote a "kiss it" rule, where Baby O will put it up to his lips and kiss it. If he likes the taste on his lips and wants to continue on to take a bite - thats fine! If he decides he doesn't want to go further for a bite, thats fine too! However, you better believe that that food will come back soon enough in another dinner or lunch soon!

6. Set an Example For Your Picky Eater

If you don't show a great relationship with food, chances are your toddler won’t be either. And if you don't want to have a picky eater forever, this one is super important. Not even nutrition, but about the whole relationship your family has with enjoying food. Take the time and effort to cook healthy, delicious meals, and make it a priority to enjoy time together. That positive vibe is going to shine all over everything food-related in your home. If you treat food as little more than fuel, they’re going to pick up on that as well. Baby O loves to "help me cook" as he calls it. Then he is WAY more likely to try a meal or baked good that he has helped to make than a dinner he did not help with.

Children learn SO much from watching us eat. How their relationship with food will develop. How to sit and engage at the table. Even how to use utensils.

I’m not saying that a trip to the Chik-Fil-A drive through should never happen. Believe me, we have more than our fair share!! There’s absolutely room for quick and easy meals, but we try not to make a habit out of them. It's not because I don't enjoy making meals together as a family, but at times it's just not possible!

7. Avoid Negative Labels

I think this is something that we as adults need to work on especially. We tend to look at foods as “good” or “bad”. But most dietitians will tell you that most foods can be reasonably healthy if eaten in moderation. Likewise, any food can be unhealthy if you don’t eat anything else. If your kids see you refusing to eat foods because they  “aren’t good for you,” they’re likely to associate negative feelings towards food as well.

The same rules apply, whether it’s eating or sleeping. And in both scenarios, it’s our little ones who have the ultimate authority. It’s easier and more effective to lead them where we want them to go, rather than forcing them.

For any questions on your little ones sleep, visit me here.